In The News: September 20, 2007

A day after Andrei Kirilenko demanded to be traded through a Russian blog post, both his agent and the Jazz tried to downplay the situation as much as possible. Agent Mark Fleisher told the Salt Lake Tribune that Kirilenko, though unhappy with his current role on the team, will report to training camp when it opens in early October. Kevin O’Connor, senior vice president of basketball operations for the Utah Jazz, also expected Kirilinko to be in camp, saying that he hopes the forward honors his rather substantial contract.

"I'd like to think Andrei recognizes that the Utah Jazz have helped him in his career,'' O'Connor told the newspaper.

But O’Connor also said, “I think what we would be remiss in doing, is not exploring every option to make our team better, and that includes everybody and we've always talked about that."

Things don’t look too rosy for Kirilenko in Utah, which would be just fine with AK-47.

Soccer goalie kicks ball boy on the shin

The life of a ball boy, or girl, seems like a fun and carefree one. You get to go to every game, hang out with the athletes and generally have one of the best seats in the house. Life is good, just as long as you’re not applying for the ball boy position in the Peruvian soccer league. Apparently a Peruvian league goalkeeper, who also plays for the International squad, simply couldn’t take the heckling from a ball boy any longer and kicked the poor lad on the shin. The goalkeeper was of course kicked out of the match and taken to the police station, for, well, abusing a poor, helpless kid. You can read more about this saga on the Guardian Web site.

Olympic torch aspires to be the first torch ever to scale Mount Everest

Since the close of the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece, the Olympic torch has been on a long and winding journey to its final destination of Beijing, China for the 2008 Olympic event. Apparently, the torch has just now reached a very crucial stage, as it will in fact journey to the summit of Mount Everest and back down on its route through Nepal and China. It’s pretty cool in general that the torch is passing up to and through the summit of Mount Everest, but the “free Tibet” folks don’t seem too thrilled about a Chinese icon passing through Tibetan land.

Houston contemplates comeback. NY hoops teams contemplate crappy rosters

The Nets and the Knicks are dueling for the services of one Alan Houston. But, the story here really isn’t the fact that Houston may be coming out of retirement, it's that both the Nets and the Knicks are desperate enough to covet the services of an over-the-hill jump shooter, who never played defense even in his prime and is entirely too intimate with the surgeons table to be considered even the least bit reliable. Goes to show the state of the Nets and Knicks respective rosters.

Race horse becomes the Tiger Woods of losers

We generally don’t write about horse racing, but this nugget of news was too good to pass up. Apparently, a Puerto Rican horse has set some kind of world record for futility. With its last place finish this week, the infamous horse named Dona Chepa became the losingest steed in horse racing history. And you thought the Chicago Cubs had it bad. All is not lost however. Apparently, Dona Chepa’s jockey received a very nice plaque for his completely and utterly uninspired life-long losing efforts. Great success.

The LeBron James project reaches critical Stage 3

“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first Bionic Man.”

Apparently, the research to build the most potent basketball player ever, or otherwise known as the “LeBron James experiment”, is still in full development. Coming off a star performance during this summer’s FIBA America’s tournament, LeBron has ballooned up to 255 pounds (from 240) on the same 6’8” frame, while gaining zero body fat. The 22-year old also underwent recent Lasik laser eye surgery and has better than 20/20 vision.

On the flip-side, the research to build the perfect big man has hit a snag.

There really is only one downside to all this experimentation however, and that’s premature aging. See Exhibit 1, 22-year old LeBron James, and Exhibit 2, 19-year old Greg Oden. Right.

Go to sleep for a couple of weeks and wake up to the glory of the NBA

If you’re a basketball fan, remember these dates: October 1, 6 and 30. The first date is the official start of NBA training camps. October 6 is the start of the NBA preseason schedule, which includes the NBA Europe Live tournament kicking things off. And of course, October 30 is the start of the 2007-2008 regular season. Can you feel the excitement? The NBA is back!