2007-2008 NBA season predictions

Remember those high school yearbook predictions about which of your friends were “most likely to succeed”, or “most likely to be living in a van down by the river”? Remember those? Yeah, so do we. Reminiscing about the high-school days got us thinking, though. What if we looked at the upcoming 2007/2008 NBA season like it was one big high school cafeteria? You’ve got the popular kids like Iverson and LeBron. You’ve got your perfectionist loners like Kobe, entirely too focused to make any friends. Then you’ve got the foreign kids like Yao Ming and Manu Ginobili – still learning their place, but good at heart. And, of course, who can forget the nerds? See Tim Duncan, awkward, yet brilliant.

So, what would a season preview be like if we looked at the coming NBA campaign as if all of the NBA stars were enrolled in David Stern High School? Who (what team) would be the most likely to succeed (or win a championship)? Which student (read player) is most likely to become president (or league MVP)? Who is most likely to change (or improve)? All good questions, which demand good answers.

So without further adieu, we present our somewhat unconventional look at the 2007/2008 NBA season.

Let’s start with the team predictions.

“Most likely to succeed” – Phoenix Suns. Bad calls won’t stop the Suns from winning the championship this season. If Steve Nash and Grant Hill can stay healthy going into the playoffs, the Suns will overpower their opponents with their precision passing, unselfish play and lights-out shooting. We generally believe that defense wins championships, but no other team is good enough defensively themselves to slow down this Suns team. Phoenix will take home the championship this year.

“Most likely to fail” – Minnesota Timberwolves. Don’t get us wrong, for his age the kid can play. But when Al Jefferson is your best scoring option, your team has some serious issues. Kevin McHale wants to rebuild, but he’ll be starting from ground zero. George Mikan must be turning over in his grave. The T’Wolves will end up as the worst team in the league.

“Most likely to be a surprise success” – Portland Trailblazers. Too bad for them the Blazers are on the West Coast, because in the East, even without injured super rook Greg Oden, this squad could challenge for a playoff spot. Look for Brandon Roy, Martell Webster and Lamarcus Aldridge to form a formidable young trio, and watch the Blazers play with a lot of passion, hustle and heart. The Blazers will be the year’s biggest surprise.

“Most likely to go from the lottery to the playoffs” – New Orleans Hornets. Their three biggest stars, Peja Stojakovic, Chris Paul and David West each missed a good chunk of time at various points during the season last year, yet the Hornets finished only 3 games back of the final playoff spot. The rise of the Hornets will be complete in 2008, as coach Byron Scott has enough talent to lead this team into the playoffs.

“Most likely to get their coach fired” – New York Knicks. The Knicks have reloaded as only the Knicks can, bringing in even more headaches to an already migraine-inducing roster. Owner James Dolan was on the cusp of firing Coach Isiah Thomas last year, so even the smallest hiccup at MSG could see the end of “Zeke’s” tenure as a NBA coach.

Now on to the individual player predictions.

“Most likely to succeed” – LeBron James. With the status of consistent contributors Anderson Varejao and Sasha Pavlovic in limbo, LeBron James will be asked to do a lot more in order to keep the Cavaliers in top form. Expect LeBron to step up his game, lead the Cavs to the playoffs yet again, and take home his first season MVP trophy.

“Freshman of the year” – Kevin Durant. This one is a no-brainer. Durant is the most talented of the 2007/2008 rookie class, is in a perfect situation where he’ll be counted on to score a lot of points and is the ROY favorite going into the season. The odds are seriously stacked against other rookies like Al Horford and Mike Conley, Jr. Even if #1 pick Greg Oden didn’t get hurt, Durant would probably still take home the ROY hardware.

“Most likely to be a surprise success” – Danny Granger. The third season is usually the break-out year for most NBA youngsters, and Granger is in for the biggest break-out of all. The Pacers forward, who averaged 14 points and nearly 5 boards a game will take over as the legitimate second option behind Jermaine O’Neal. And with JO likely to miss his share of games, or possibly get traded, Granger is in line for some serious improvement in 2007/2008.

“Most defensive” – Emeka Okafor. If he can stay healthy, Okafor could easily lead the league in blocked shots. Wing players hardly ever win this award, so players like Gerald Wallace, Raja Bell and Bruce Bowen probably won’t get much consideration, and with Ben Wallace on the downside of his career Okafor is ready to step in and claim the best defensive player label.

“Most likely to move” – Jermaine O’Neal. While the Kobe Bryant trade rumors dominate the conversation and probably will do so until he is dealt at some point, the all-star most likely to be moved before the February trade deadline is the Pacers own Jermaine O’Neal. JO has a massive contract, nearing $20 million per season, and injury concerns, but team president Larry Bird is chomping at the bit to get the youth movement started asap – meaning Granger and Shawne Williams could soon take JO’s place as the face of the Indiana Pacers. Bird will likely find a suitor among one of the Eastern conference competitors looking to keep pace with the new-look Celtics.

Those are our capsule predictions of the upcoming NBA season. Now, let the games begin.

In The News: September 20, 2007

A day after Andrei Kirilenko demanded to be traded through a Russian blog post, both his agent and the Jazz tried to downplay the situation as much as possible. Agent Mark Fleisher told the Salt Lake Tribune that Kirilenko, though unhappy with his current role on the team, will report to training camp when it opens in early October. Kevin O’Connor, senior vice president of basketball operations for the Utah Jazz, also expected Kirilinko to be in camp, saying that he hopes the forward honors his rather substantial contract.

"I'd like to think Andrei recognizes that the Utah Jazz have helped him in his career,'' O'Connor told the newspaper.

But O’Connor also said, “I think what we would be remiss in doing, is not exploring every option to make our team better, and that includes everybody and we've always talked about that."

Things don’t look too rosy for Kirilenko in Utah, which would be just fine with AK-47.

Soccer goalie kicks ball boy on the shin

The life of a ball boy, or girl, seems like a fun and carefree one. You get to go to every game, hang out with the athletes and generally have one of the best seats in the house. Life is good, just as long as you’re not applying for the ball boy position in the Peruvian soccer league. Apparently a Peruvian league goalkeeper, who also plays for the International squad, simply couldn’t take the heckling from a ball boy any longer and kicked the poor lad on the shin. The goalkeeper was of course kicked out of the match and taken to the police station, for, well, abusing a poor, helpless kid. You can read more about this saga on the Guardian Web site.

Olympic torch aspires to be the first torch ever to scale Mount Everest

Since the close of the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece, the Olympic torch has been on a long and winding journey to its final destination of Beijing, China for the 2008 Olympic event. Apparently, the torch has just now reached a very crucial stage, as it will in fact journey to the summit of Mount Everest and back down on its route through Nepal and China. It’s pretty cool in general that the torch is passing up to and through the summit of Mount Everest, but the “free Tibet” folks don’t seem too thrilled about a Chinese icon passing through Tibetan land.

Houston contemplates comeback. NY hoops teams contemplate crappy rosters

The Nets and the Knicks are dueling for the services of one Alan Houston. But, the story here really isn’t the fact that Houston may be coming out of retirement, it's that both the Nets and the Knicks are desperate enough to covet the services of an over-the-hill jump shooter, who never played defense even in his prime and is entirely too intimate with the surgeons table to be considered even the least bit reliable. Goes to show the state of the Nets and Knicks respective rosters.

Race horse becomes the Tiger Woods of losers

We generally don’t write about horse racing, but this nugget of news was too good to pass up. Apparently, a Puerto Rican horse has set some kind of world record for futility. With its last place finish this week, the infamous horse named Dona Chepa became the losingest steed in horse racing history. And you thought the Chicago Cubs had it bad. All is not lost however. Apparently, Dona Chepa’s jockey received a very nice plaque for his completely and utterly uninspired life-long losing efforts. Great success.

The LeBron James project reaches critical Stage 3

“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first Bionic Man.”

Apparently, the research to build the most potent basketball player ever, or otherwise known as the “LeBron James experiment”, is still in full development. Coming off a star performance during this summer’s FIBA America’s tournament, LeBron has ballooned up to 255 pounds (from 240) on the same 6’8” frame, while gaining zero body fat. The 22-year old also underwent recent Lasik laser eye surgery and has better than 20/20 vision.

On the flip-side, the research to build the perfect big man has hit a snag.

There really is only one downside to all this experimentation however, and that’s premature aging. See Exhibit 1, 22-year old LeBron James, and Exhibit 2, 19-year old Greg Oden. Right.

Go to sleep for a couple of weeks and wake up to the glory of the NBA

If you’re a basketball fan, remember these dates: October 1, 6 and 30. The first date is the official start of NBA training camps. October 6 is the start of the NBA preseason schedule, which includes the NBA Europe Live tournament kicking things off. And of course, October 30 is the start of the 2007-2008 regular season. Can you feel the excitement? The NBA is back!

The top ten players in the NBA, or David Stern is mad

David Stern is sitting in his pimped-out office at NBA headquarters on 645 Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, mere blocks from Radio City Music Hall and Rockefeller Center, contemplating the state of his beloved league. TV ratings for the NBA Finals are just about lower than reruns of the Tyra Banks Show, NBA referees were last seen buying helmets and shoulder-pads in preparation for the post-Donaghy era, one of his draft picks, Chinese sensation Yi Jianlian, seems to think that all Milwaukee residents ever do is milk cows and eat cheese and a rogue group of millionaires are intent on extraditing the Sonics franchise to Oklahoma City of all places. And, these problems only begin to scratch the surface of dilemmas on Stern’s, admittedly brilliant, mind.

Given this unyielding pressure, let’s assume that Stern finally snaps and calls a hasty press conference to announce that in order to add some much needed spice to the beleaguered league he is breaking up the NBA, declaring every player a free agent and instituting a draft, fantasy basketball-style, from a pool of all 490+ NBA players. The fantasy NBA draft, where the largest US markets by population will select in order, is set for Tuesday, August 28, 2007 (Stay with us people, this article is definitely going somewhere).

Who Would Isaiah Thomas Pick?

Following the announcement New York Knicks GM Isaiah Thomas throws the greatest party the world has ever seen – having in an instant rid himself of the horrible contracts, and equally appalling talent, that he’s so unskillfully amassed over the years. But, with the first pick of the NBA fantasy draft he then proceeds to pick oft-injured forward Chris Webber and immediately signs him to a 6 year contract worth a record $192 million.

“We were looking for versatility with our first pick and Chris Webber is THE most versatile power forward in the league today,” Thomas tells reporters. “I happened to see some game tape from when Chris played for the Golden State Warriors and I was completely sold! I ordered my assistant coaches to burn all of the subsequent footage of Chris’ games, because I had seen enough! As long as Chris can remember how many timeouts we have left, I feel we have the steal of the draft, at the first pick no-less.”

Simultaneously a massive splash is heard in the East River, as every single red-blooded New York Knicks fan jumps off the Brooklyn Bridge, incidentally setting a new Guiness World Record for the most people simultaneously jumping off bridges – the Los Angeles Lakers are on the clock.

The 2007 NBA Fantasy Draft

Given this scenario, as fanciful as the circumstances may sound, it got us thinking; If your franchise had a top ten pick in the 2007 NBA fantasy draft, where your owner could select any NBA player he chose, what would that draft look like? (Note: David Stern set the draft order based on the top ten US markets by population that also currently has an NBA franchise – so, no San Diego or San Jose).

Jerry Buss Drives Kobe Bryant Nuts

Stern walks out to the podium at Madison Square Garden. “With the 2nd pick the Los Angeles Lakers select Kobe Bryant.” After giving some thought to Dwayne Wade and LeBron James for about 2 seconds, the Lakers are more than content to bring their disgruntled superstar back into the fold. On both ends of the floor Kobe Bryant is a more skilled player than James or Wade – he’s a better shooter, better defender and a better clutch scorer. Yes, he’s older, but Kobe is still in his prime and the Lakers – the glamorous franchise that it is – wants to win now. Kobe Bryant, for his part, immediately goes on The Today Show, Larry King Live, Meet the Press, Inside the Actor’s Studio and American Idol, and asks to be traded. He even accepts a role in the next Will Farrell basketball-based movie where he ironically plays an NBA superstar asking to be traded.

With the 3rd pick the Chicago Bulls select LeBron James. Bulls GM John Paxon loves James’ unselfish play and his ability to physically overpower just about every other guard and most small forwards in the league. Besides, LeBron is certainly the leader in the clubhouse of over-exposed NBA superstars and fits right into that media-friendly role vacated by “his airness” Michael Jordan. After learning that Jordan’s number “23” is perpetually retired, LeBron successfully petitions the league to switch his jersey number to the roman numerals XXIII.

With the 4th pick the Houston Rockets select Tim Duncan. With Kobe Bryant and LeBron James off the board, the clear selection is the crazy bank-shooter from the Virgin Islands. Besides, Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey takes a little pleasure in snagging the four-time NBA champion from their cross-state rivals the San Antonio Spurs. Duncan, for his part, is devastated by the move for having to leave his long-time friend David Robinson back in San Antonio. He takes up writing Haiku and hiking to get over the seemingly devastating pain and a hopelessly broken heart.

With the 5th pick the Philadelphia 76ers select Dwayne Wade. It feels like deja-vu all over again for Wade, who was originally picked 5th overall by the Miami Heat in the real NBA draft. The Philadelphia franchise for its part is ecstatic to bring in a superstar guard that doesn’t believe he’s playing within a black hole and actually acknowledges the other four players on the floor with him, and values the importance of practice – a unique player indeed!

Hassellhoff and Nowitzki in the same frontcourt?

With the 6th pick the Phoenix Suns select Dirk Nowitzki. As tempting as it must have been to draft Steve Nash in this spot, and not break up the good vibes they have going in the valley of the sun, Nowitzki and his versatile game is entirely too much to pass up at this pick – particularly given Nash’s advanced age. Phoenix likes shooters at every position, so what better anchor to a shooting team than a 7-footer who can light it up from anywhere on the floor. Nowitzki could not be more excited, as he pops in his latest David Hassellhoff CD and jumps into his drop-top convertible for the long road-trip from Dallas to Phoenix. (He’s German, give him a break)

With the 7th pick the San Antonio Spurs select Amare Stoudemire. Having lost out on the Tim Duncan sweepstakes, Spurs GM R.C. Buford looks to fill the void left at Power Forward. The surgically repaired knees are a bit of a concern, but given Stoudemire’s youth, he was graded slightly higher on the Spurs’ draft board than players like Gilbert Arenas, Kevin Garnett, Yao Ming, Tracy McGrady and Steve Nash. In the subsequent rounds – in a clear ploy to confuse Spurs fans and TV announcers everywhere -- Buford attempts to build the all-Stoudemire team by also drafting Damon Stoudamire and Salim Stoudamire to play alongside Amare.

With the 8th pick the Dallas Mavericks select Kevin Garnett. The choice for Mark Cuban came down to Garnett or young power forward stud Chris Bosh. Sure Bosh has the age thing going for him, but Cuban wants to win now. Garnett probably couldn’t lead a gaggle of ducks to water, but the seeming lack of leadership skills are perfectly counterbalanced by his unearthly rebounding and defense, heart and hustle. Besides, Mark Cuban has never heard of Chris Bosh, but he did see Garnett in that Adidas commercial where the NBA star freakishly appeared from inside some type of plant.

Spontaneous combustion and the all-NBA legend team

With the 9th pick the Detroit Pistons select Chris Bosh. Just missing out on Garnett, and with Steve Nash still sitting in the green room, the Pistons take one of the most exciting and talented young players in the NBA today. Bosh’s workmanlike game and team-first attitude is a perfect fit for the “motor city” and its clever GM Joe Dumars. Everyone is happy and all seems well, but as Bosh sits down to calculate the amount of actual tax dollars he’ll save in the US, as opposed to his last Canada-based team, his head spontaneously combusts and explodes into a thousand pieces. The Pistons are back on the clock.

With the 9th and a half pick the Detroit Pistons select Yao Ming. The Chinese population in Troy, Michigan couldn’t be more excited, and Yao Ming is thrilled right along with them. (How can you not like Yao Ming?)

With the 10th pick of the 2007 NBA fantasy draft the Indianapolis Pacers select Dwight Howard. With Carmelo Anthony, Steve Nash, Gilbert Arenas and Tracey McGrady still on the board, the Pacers go for a power forward, following the mantra that unless there’s a player at guard that is truly head-and-shoulders above the rest always select a big man. Overcome with excitement, Dwight Howard takes a running jump, reaches the top of Conseco Field House and puts a large life-size sticker of his smiling mug on the arena roof. Pacers GM Larry Bird announces that his team will no longer participate in the rest of the fantasy NBA draft, but will instead field a team with himself, and pals Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Hakeem Olajuwan, Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller, Kevin McHale, Patrick Ewing, Robert Parish, James Worthy and Dominic Wilkins around his young star.

Whether it’s age in the case of Steve Nash, health in the case of Tracy McGrady, poor shot selection in the case of Gilbert Arenas or the unusual personality and the lack of defense in the case of Carmelo Anthony, those four players were left out of the top ten in David Stern’s fantasy NBA draft. Teams went for size for sure, but outside of Chris Webber of course, we believe the players drafted would probably go in the same order if this type of draft were to happen in real life.

Disagree? (or agree). Post your comments now by clicking below.

In The News: August 27, 2007

Team USA finished the preliminary round of the FIBA Americas Tournament with a perfect, never in doubt, 4-0 record. Led by 21 points each from Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James and 20 points, and what is now becoming his trademark suffocating defense, from Kobe Bryant, Team USA beat the Brazilian National Team by a final score of 113-76. In reality, the game wasn’t nearly that close, as the US Senior National Team pulled away in the late second and third quarters. Extensive fourth quarter garbage-time against the Team USA second team produced the final relatively respectable tally. We could go on here and discuss the talent laden Brazilian team and the fact that they will likely pose the greatest challenge to Team USA during the FIBA tournament, but that in-depth discussion isn't really necessary. This version of Team USA looks good, really good. They’re starting to develop the type of swagger where Brazil could be replaced with any number of teams, from Germany to Argentina, and it wouldn’t really matter – the result would likely be the same. Team USA hasn’t had that type of sway since the original 1992 Dream Team, or 1996 Olympic team.

Leave My Sister Out of This!

If you follow soccer, or perhaps even if you don’t, you’ll likely remember French legend Zinedine Zidane treating Marco Materazzi of the Italian National team like a soccer ball at the World Cup last year with the infamous head-butt. At the time, both Zidane and Materazzi refused to discuss the exchange of words leading up to the surreal incident. But, with a new book on the episode coming out soon, Materazzi went into full publicity mode to let the world know exactly what he said to his French counterpart. We’re still not sure if Zidane should have resorted to an ejection inducing head-butt particularly during such an important game for his team, but you can certainly understand his anger. Materazzi’s lewd comments were entirely too harsh, as retaliation to the relatively tame trash-talk by Zidane that preceded the remarks.

Denilson Adds MLS Paycheck to Social Security Earnings

FC Dallas announced late last week that it had signed former Brazillian midfielder Denilson to a contract. Terms of the agreement were not announced, and the team said that Denilson would play as soon as he is able to secure a Visa. Denilson is a significant name in the world of soccer, having won the World Cup in 2002 following an illustrious career with the Brazilian national team and league teams like San Paolo FC and Flamenco, but he is also well past his prime. Not surprisingly, Denilson’s signing with the MLS produced barely a blip in the American sports landscape. Once again this goes to show that although David Bekham’s signing and subsequent games with the Los Angeles Galaxy has and continue to receive considerable attention, the cat-like curiosity toward Bekham, and his Spice Girl wife Victoria, is almost entirely celebrity driven. We don’t expect the same type of attention even if the MLS were to sign other legendary, yet past their prime, players like former Brazilian star Ronaldo or the aforementioned Zidane. For soccer to really take off in America, the MLS will need to spend the millions, which it incidentally doesn’t have at this point, to sign a few of the current stars like Ronaldinho, Christian Ronaldo, Messi, John Terry, Kaka and others -- not has-beens looking to make a few extra millions before riding off into the sunset.

myPhone, yourPhone, Everyone Gets a iPhone

A 17-year old kid in New Jersey, named George Hotz, has figured out a way to “unlock” the iPhone. It’s a relatively complicated process for sure, but Hotz, having worked with other “hackers” in the US and in Russia, was able to unlock his own iPhone and use it on the T-Mobile network, instead of the requisite AT&T service. Apple and AT&T haven’t commented yet on the developments, but we’re sure T-Mobile is already planning the company-wide happy hour in celebration. You can read more on Hotz’s blog. Hotz, incidentally, recently sold the first-ever “unlocked” iPhone for enough money to buy himself a Nissan 350Z and 3 new iPhones for his online partners who helped with the project.

Team USA trims down for FIBA run

Four players, including guard Mike Miller, and forwards Kevin Durant, Tyson Chandler and Nick Collision, found themselves squarely on the bubble as the final round of cuts for the US National Team approached. In the end, Durant and Collision will be staying at home, as the US basketball team begins its long run back to Olympic gold, beginning with the FIBA Americas Tournament.

As much as we’ve been touting Kevin Durant, ever since the first game he stepped on the court wearing a Texas Longhorns uniform, he is too young and inexperienced for international basketball – besides, the team has too many experienced NBA pros with similar skills in Kobe, Carmelo and LeBron. Team USA did well in picking a shooter and a shot-blocker to round out the squad.

The FIBA Americas Tournament begins for Team USA with a game on Wednesday, August 22 against Venezuela. The game will be shown at 11pm Eastern Time on either ESPN Classic or ESPN 360 – it will be replayed on Thursday, August 23 at 1am Eastern on ESPN2 and 12pm Eastern on NBA TV. A full TV schedule can be found here.

The national team isn’t without its faults, but we’re more excited and confident in this Team USA squad than we have been in quite some time. Part of it is because of the depth and addition of shooters like Michael Redd and Mike Miller, but it mainly has to do with the fact that Kobe is finally playing for the national team. On a nightly basis he puts a mediocre Los Angeles Lakers team on his shoulder and refuses to let them lose. Imagine how valuable he’ll be in the 4th quarter of games on the national stage.

"Kobe is as good a player as there is on the planet and he's a team oriented player," said Team USA head coach Mike Krzyzewski. "He's just as good defensively as he is offensively. That's a nice thing to have."

Joining Kobe on Team USA for the FIBA Americas Tournament will be: LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, Amare Stoudamire, Jason Kidd, Chauncey Billups, Michael Redd, Mike Miller, Tyson Chandler, Tayshaun Prince and Deron Williams.

We can’t wait for tip-off against Venezuela!